This Commercial is SO FUNNY!!

so what..im not your average girl..

So what I'm not your average girl
I don't meet the standards of this world
Chasing after boys is not my thing
See I'm waiting for a wedding ring


No more dating
I'm just waiting
Like sleeping beauty
My prince will come for me
No more dating
I'm just waiting
'Cause God is writing my love story

Boys are bad; that's certainly not true
'Cause God's preparing one for you
If you get tired waiting till he comes
God's arms are the perfect place to run



Sleep - that's the only thing for me
'Cause when I sleep
God's preparing one for me

lyrics by: barlow girl

Starbucks : ]

so this is kind of gross.. if your one of those dumb girls who gets sick easy.. but I find it rather amusing..

So.. about two weeks ago I was doing my Nanny job..and I had a major caffeine headache.. no Coke & no Starbucks for a while..not a pretty picture right? So I called my mom and asked her to bring me a White Mocha from St.Arbucks .. so she did and I drank the whole vente as usual.. and then a few hours later I realized I had caught a stomach bug from one of my babies.. So I threw up the ENTIRE White Mocha! (and those things are not cheap!).. And the worst part was when I threw up it smelled just like a white mocha! I havn't had one since..but Im having major withdrawls.. so I think im gonna risk it and drink one.. I NEED MY CAFFEINE!

Isn't it weird how throwing up can ruin some of your favorite foods for ya?

hmm.. He makes all things new..

so.. totally been thinkin' and prayin' about what IM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING. But unlike the past..I have curiousity without frustration.. much more fun.. I look around me and I see people who are unsatisfied with life..and i realize how annoying it is to be around those people..and for the last month or so.. I HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. yuck : [ so now I'm just forbidding myself to be frustrated..I mean..He already told me everything will work out.. So why waste my time worrying and not being fun..

My plans for myself change almost constantly..one second Im moving to California to become and actress.. the next second I have decided to become a nun ( even though they wouldn't let me).. then I decide I want to be a teacher.. the list goes on and on.. which is why Im thankful that He has a plan for me.. because if it were up to me.. i would never make up my mind..

yay : ]

My Prayer

Lord God.. forgive me for my retardedness.. my lack of motivation.. my lack of concern for Your body..for your heart.. Forgive me.. for not being able to see past the huge plank in my eye..while i was busy pointing out the tiny speck in the eye of others. Forgive me.. for neglecting Your Heart.. and seeking what You are involved in..instead of seeking You.. Forgive me.. for leaving my first Love..and convincing myself that I hadn't. Forgive me.. for thinking I had arrived.. and pride comes before a GREAT fall.. Forgive me.. for putting my well being before the well being of Your children.. Forgive me.. for giving the world a false impression of who You are.. Forgive me..for thinking that my thoughts are higher than Yours. Forgive me..Father.. for not letting the dead bury the dead..and clinging to worthless idols. Forgive me.. for lying around in self pity..rather than carrying Your heart to the nations.. Forgive me.. for blaming You for the "problems" in my life.. Forgive me.. for taking advantage of your blessings..for twisting their purpose.. Forgive me.. for lying to myself..and for rejecting what You have given me.. Forgive me for taking the Cross for granted..and for the lack of true fellowship I give to You. Forgive me..

my agenda for the next while..

October:

10/25 The Fair

10/31 Brok's 22nd Birthday

November:

11/6-8 Christmas Jubilee

11/8 Don & Cathy Channell arive

11/7-9 Lakeland Alive

Yeah.

Me and Via went to the Pier and took Bella for a walk today : ] Lovely

Blah blah blah, does anyone hear what i'm saying? am i dead?

it never ceases to amaze me how no matter what I do.... i can not EVER have an identity. Maybe that's what God wants for me....to have my identity in Him. i don't know, but once again, im back to point A "frustration"

i love Jesus alot

abortion, you're goin' down....

First Prayer Seige this friday night! Im pretty excited. I'm ready to see how God moves....

"I beleive that You will come, Like the RAIN."

Lately God has been taking me through a season where it almost feels like I'm being drug through the mud! But it's a really awesome connecting experience. He is adding reality and practicality to my desperation and zeal. He is teaching me logistics of serving Him in a world where 99% of people will never understand where I am with Him. And more than ever He is teaching me, "Obedience is better than sacrifice." Ouch, that one is HARD! But the affects of obedience are out of this world. (pun intended)

He is teaching me that just saying," i'll drop everything to follow You" ( including plans I made that I thought He made) will not suffice. I actually have to drop those plans.... but to tell you the truth, it feels really good now that I have done that. And even the hard times and frustration are suddenly more than easy to bare. Not to get mystical here, but it's literally like I'm under His wing, and every time someone throws a blow at me, He blocks it. Not that I still don't get mad sometimes, but I am learning how to deal with conflict in a Godly way.

I'll say goodbye to my father,my mother, and i'll press on....

SO, lately I have been thinking about the usual, school, dropping out, purpose, and God. These are the main thoughts of my life for the past year or so. Not a whim.

I'm not going to waste my time expressing how i feel about dropping out for a purpose, because i am yet to find anyone who agrees, which is fine, I'm just saying i am not going to waste my effort expressing my thoughts for no reason. HOWEVER, I do want to lay my thoughts out there concerning the things affected by my opinion.

My plan:

Keep swallowing the ridiculous injustices of my home for two more months, and dealing with a brother who hates me like no body's business. and then in January moving to Orlando to start ministry school and get a job. and then go from there.


BUT:
There is always God's plan. And i spend the mass majority of my time talking to Him, and listening to Him. So He and i have discussed this topic quite a bit.the thing about God is, He is the only one in my life who has ever made me face consequences. Sure, i have always been given ultimatums in my life by parent's, teachers, etc. but i have always found a loop hole, or just found a way to escape consequence. but with God, I know if i disobey, there will be a price to pay. And in a strange way, i feel comforted in that. because I know that He is so sure that His plan is the absolute best, that to keep me from ruining myself, He is willing to let me face a consequence to keep me headed straight. (hope that makes sense)

And i know, "if you quite school you will regret it, you will kick yourself later for it,no one will respect you....blah blah blah." and perhaps that is true, but that isn't what i fear. my problem with me dropping out, is the fact that God has shown me that i am the only earthly thing my mother has. And He has given me a responsibility to make sure she is loved and taken care of. And if I will just listen to His heart, He is telling me to be patient, and take care of one thing at a time. STOP PLANNING!

I want to be so selflessly abandoned to Him, that I find joy in any and every task He has for me. I KNOW ministry school is in store, the timing is the question. And I want to find myself at His feet every second of the day. And if that means living at home for seven more months, then so be it.

I JUST WANT TO SERVE MY SAVIOR. I have finally found love. And that is all I want. To know that I am serving my LOVE.


and this is the song that He used to help me see all this....

these days are over.... sigh

it is blog time once again....

So, I'm heading up this thing called Bound4LIFE Mobile....It's way awesome, praying for God to end abortion and send revival to America. And the cool part is we pray AT abortion clinics. When God first moved on my heart to start B4L here in Mobile, I was scared that no one would come t the prayer seiges. I was like, "God? Who on earth wants to come pray at abortion clinics with me? I have no following, I dont have a sphere of influence to support me here?" And of course He blew my socks off! I have people coming from out of state and out of town that I don't even know! Is that the Body of Christ or what? I'm really into this thing recently of finding the true body of Christ, His Bride. Maybe because I'm part of it and want to know the rest of it, or "her" should I say. I am comiing to find that I don't even agree with "Church". I'm not fully informed yet, so don't take that to heart. But what happened to the new testament Church where people met and just worshipped God? I am desperate to see the day when we lay down "religion" and pick up all that God has waiting for us. I LOVE to meet Christians that I have never met before. Because you literally feel like family. It's amazing.
SO back to Bound4LIFE. My friend Don Channell was speaking at our Church a couple of weeks ago, and he was talking about the immorality in America, and he got to talking on abortion. He was saying how we can stand outside with signs all day long, and that isn't going to change ANYTHING. I totally agree. Even if they make abortion illegal, the HEARTS of America still havn't changed. Just because we aren't allowed to do something doesn't mean we don't want to. We have to PRAY that God will change the HEARTS of America, that we can turn from abortion and return to LIFE.

recent things:

I am starting a list of songs that have helpedme get through the good and bad times of my life, "a soundtrack to my life" if you will.

this is just the beginning, i will add to the list as i remember the songs....

The Last Night-Skillet (a lifesaver, literally)
Praise You in this Storm-Casting Crowns
My Immortal-Evanescence
October-Evanescence
Gavin's Song-Mark Breussard
more to come....

Sleep?

So, i think i might have Insomnia? No matter how hard i try to go to sleep, or how tired I am, I cannot go to sleep until around 2:00 or 2:30am....EVERY STINKIN NIGHT! And once i finally get to sleep, i wake up like every five minutes, and when I wake up I feel like I have been awake all night. I causes me to have head aches during the day, and Im tired of it. (pun intended)
I think im going to go to the doctor, to add to my collection of things i need to do after I win the lottery.

so, tonight i went to the FA homecoming game, and that was a HUGE mistake. i miss those people sooooo much! they are my family, and it broke my heart last year to leave them, but I thought i was following God. Maybe I was, maybe He wanted me to leave for half a year to get myslef together and now wants me to go back? i dont know. everyone told me all along i shouldnt leave. but im so hard headed!