back to the future..hopefully not..maybe back to the past..square one..

so..i was finkin' tonight.. i'm on this challenge of not being negative..and stuff..and i'm still having the issue of how to balance out not being negative..AND also letting myself vent PROPERLY.. because in the past I have always seen how obnoxious a constantly negative person (like myself) can be..so I would force myself to not share any of my "feelings" or let anyone know I was dealing with something..because I didn't want to get on anyone's nerves.. but then that would cause me to randomly blow up because of all that had built up inside.. so I don't want to make that mistake again..just because I'm vowing to be posotive now, doesn't mean everything is suddenly fine and dandy..shit still happens.. SO i was thinking..maybe I should go back to my therapist..like once or twice a week, and just use that time to blow steam.. she/he doesn't mind listening to me rant for an hour.. she's getting paid to..and I can leave there with all of that off of my chest.. and not worry about who i annoyed.. hmm..what to do.. what to do..